Calories

I've been counting my Calories again, and I'm really liking it!  I know that I ate a lot more than one would expect today, seeing as how I fasted for breakfast and lunch.  But, again, my reasons for fasting aren't diet-based.  They're faith-based.  And I'm still doing pretty well on my eating, I'd say...now if only I could get to that running...

Tuesday:
20 minutes on elliptical
20 minutes on stair stepper
10 minutes on exercise bike
100 sit ups
100 push ups
2 60-second front planks
2 40-second side planks
prayed
read the bible
read my devotion
fast
Calories: 1,127

Total:
40 minutes on elliptical
40 minutes on stair stepper
20 minutes on exercise bike
100 situps
100 push ups
2 60-second planks
2 40-second planks
pray daily
read the bible daily
read my devotion daily
fast
Monday Calories: 2,231
Tuesday Calories: 1,127

Remaining:
20 minutes on elliptical
20 minutes on stair stepper
10 minutes on exercise bike
10 miles walked/ran
200 sit ups
200 push ups
3 60-second front planks
3 40-second side planks
pray daily
read the bible daily
read my devotion daily

Truncated Week

Today is Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday, all in one day.  That's just because I have Thursday and Friday off.  And since I only have free access to the gym at work, I'll be trying to pack in as much as I can on the equipement.  But I can't do too much--I still have to work, you know?  So I decided to focus my time on what gives me the most grief: the elliptical and the stairstepper.  And then I use the exercise bike to kinda cool down.  

Now, I know that the week still goes to Sunday, so I can still get my walking/running in.  And my push-ups and situps and planks can also be done all week.  Other than that, I'm still toying with what else I can do for exercise this week while I'm in SF in a hotel (with no gym).  Last time, we were on teh 11th floor, so I know I can run the stairs.

What else should I do?  Any hints/tips?

Oh, also, my brother sent me this wordle of my blog:

How fun is that??

Goals:
60 minutes on elliptical
60 minutes on stair stepper
30 minutes on exercise bike
10 miles walked/ran
300 sit ups
300 push ups
5 60-second front planks
5 40-second side planks
pray daily
read the bible daily
read my devotion daily
fast
date with Anna

Up to Monday:
20 minutes on elliptical
20 minutes on stair stepper
10 minutes on exercise bike
pray daily
read the bible daily
read my devotion daily
date with Anna

Remaining:
40 minutes on elliptical
40 minutes on stair stepper
20 minutes on exercise bike
10 miles walked/ran
300 sit ups
300 push ups
5 60-second front planks
5 40-second side plankspray daily
read the bible daily
read my devotion daily
fast

Week 73 (4.10)

Weight: 224.4

Weekly Weight loss: 0.4
Total weight lost: 144.0
Average Weekly Loss: 1.97

0.4.  Okay, it's apparent that I can maintain.  I've been pretty much between 230 and 220 for the last 25 weeks.  6 months of maintenance.  If I were at 215 or 210 or 200, that would be cool.  That actually makes me excited.  I think I may be able to eat intuitively.

But I'm not there yet.  I still have 10-25 more pounds to lose.  So, my intuitive eating plan is on hold for the next little while.  I have to focus and beat the last little bit.  No more coasting.  That means more running and more exercising and better eating. 

I don't mind having a 10 pound range that I live within, but it's got to be 205-215 or somehting like that.

I'll be TwEATing again starting tomorrow, but that may not hold for the weekend--Anna and I will be taking a trip to San Francisco for Labor Day.  I guess my weigh-in will have to be on Wednesday is week, and then we'll see how I can maintain.  Deal? 

A Double Date, Splitting, and Twos

I had this post title thought up earlier today, and I didn't want to change it--although what we had planned didn't go as planned.  Tonight was a double date triple date.  Anna and I went to an Indian restaurant with two other couples.  It was a bunch of fun--and a ton of good food!  Well, not a ton ton.  It was great.  The six of us (and one toddler) shared 2 dishes of rice, 4 naan breads, and 3 dishes.  That comes out to 1/3 of a dish of rice, 2/3 of a naan bread, and 1/2 of a dish.  I'd say that's not bad for going to an Indian restaurant.  And one of the generous people at our table paid for all of us!  What a treat.

So, that's the "Double Date" portion of this post.

Splitting.  Although we shared the mean family-style, Anna and I planned on splitting one dish (which I guess we ended up doing).  This is a big change for me.  Anna and I go out to dinner a fair amount--maybe once or twice a week.  Most of the time, we're trying to save money.  And Calories.  And Anna almost always asks if we could share a dish.  I, however, am usually a stubborn, spoiled brat and say, "No!"  That I want my own dish.  And I almost always win.  But that's not a good thing.  And we end up spending more money and consuming more Calories than we are happy with.  So splitting entrees will be a good habit to get into. 

And now for the final portion: Twos.  This is one thing I struggle with.  I'm a little fussy about some things, especially numbers--for instance, I like to have my volume setting in levels of 5.  To be honest, it really annoys me when people say, "I'm a little OCD," or, "I have a little OCD."  It's like saying, "I have a little Lupis." Well, I don't have a little bit of OCD, but I am randomly particular about some things.  One of them is my desire to have 2 of things.  Not that I always feel a need to have 2 of things, but I do like to do that a lot.  When we have pizza, I always bring out two slices on my plate.  When I used to go to McDonalds, I'd always have to get at least 2 McDoubles or 2 McChickens.  It's not a huge problem with some things.  And some things it's a big problem.  But really, it's something I have to break.  I have to be able to be able to only have one of something.  Just one.

Friday:
7 miles ran & walked
50 situps
50 push ups
1 60-second front plank
1 40-second plank
prayed
read the bible
read my devotion
date with Anna

Total:
60 minutes on elliptical
60 minutes on stair stepper
60 minutes on exercise bike
10 miles ran
200 situps
200 push ups
4 60-second front planks
4 40-second planks
pray daily
read the bible daily
read my devotion daily
2 dates with Anna
fasted

Remaining:
5 miles walked/ran
15 miles biked
100 sit ups
100 push ups
1 60-second front planks
1 40-second side plankspray daily
read the bible daily
read my devotion daily

Thursday

Not much to share.  Busy night, and not much non-gym execise.  But my replacement phone came in, so I'm connected again!

Let's wrap this week up with choices we're happy with, okay? 

Thursday:
15 minutes on elliptical
15 minutes on stair stepper
15 minutes on exercise bike
50 situps
50 push ups
1 60-second front plank
1 40-second plank
prayed
read the bible
read my devotion

Total:
60 minutes on elliptical
60 minutes on stair stepper
60 minutes on exercise bike
3 miles ran
150 situps
150 push ups
3 60-second front planks
3 40-second planks
pray daily
read the bible daily
read my devotion daily
date with Anna
fasted

Remaining:
12 miles walked/ran
15 miles biked
150 sit ups
150 push ups
2 60-second front planks
2 40-second side plankspray daily
read the bible daily
read my devotion daily

Feeling Normal

A funny thing happened the other day.  Anna and I were walking through Target.  And I felt normal.  I didn't feel fat.  I know that I've been in a pretty good place, weight-wise for a while now, but it always takes longer for the mind to catch up to the body--both ways.  And while this will in NO WAY delay my progress on this journey, it certainly was a nice development.  I guess it helps that I can fit into "normal"-sized jeans and shirts!

Wednesday:
15 minutes on elliptical
15 minutes on stair stepper
15 minutes on exercise bike
prayed
read the bible
read my devotion
date with Anna
fasted

Total:
45 minutes on elliptical
45 minutes on stair stepper
45 minutes on exercise bike
3 miles ran
100 situps
100 push ups
2 60-second front planks
2 40-second planks
pray daily
read the bible daily
read my devotion daily
date with Anna
fasted

Remaining:
15 minutes on elliptical
15 minutes on stair stepper
15 minutes on exercise bike
12 miles walked/ran
15 miles biked
200 sit ups
200 push ups
3 60-second front planks
3 40-second side plankspray daily
read the bible daily
read my devotion daily

Nada

Not much to say tonight.  I didn't get a run or a ride in.  We had another window presentation, and it was for a "recovery" pitch, since the first guy was an hour late and wasn't any good.  This time it was the owner...and she wasn't that great...and she was here for 3+ hours...and she was over 1/2 an hour late!  Way to redeem your own company.  Sheesh. 

Have you ever purchased new windows?  How was your experience?

Tuesday:
15 minutes on elliptical
15 minutes on stair stepper
15 minutes on exercise bike
50 situps
50 push ups
1 60-second front plank
1 40-second plank
prayed
read the bible
read my devotion

Total:
30 minutes on elliptical
30 minutes on stair stepper
30 minutes on exercise bike
3 miles ran
100 situps
100 push ups
2 60-second front planks
2 40-second planks
pray daily
read the bible daily
read my devotion daily

Remaining:
30 minutes on elliptical
30 minutes on stair stepper
30 minutes on exercise bike
12 miles walked/ran
15 miles biked
200 sit ups
200 push ups
3 60-second front planks
3 40-second side plankspray daily
read the bible daily
read my devotion daily
fast
date with Anna

Monday Update

Today was a great night.  We had some homemade brazed oxtails.  We got the rest of our organizing done.  And Anna made some red bean soup for dessert (Yum!).  Tomorrow is going to be a good, but crazy day--we have a 4th window sales pitch (all for 8 windows...), and then I'll be off for a run or a ride.  Yup, I finally got a bike pump for my tires!

On the frustrating side, though, my Nexus One crapped out.  So I'm without my superphone for the next few days while a new one is shipped out to me.  Wow, this is not fun.  But it makes me think that I may be a little too dependent on "connectivity".  Hmm...guess I can think of something to give up next Lent, huh?

Goals:
60 minutes on elliptical
60 minutes on stair stepper
60 minutes on exercise bike
15 miles walked/ran
15 miles biked
300 sit ups
300 push ups
5 60-second front planks
5 40-second side planks
pray daily
read the bible daily
read my devotion daily
fast
date with Anna

Up to Monday:
15 minutes on elliptical
15 minutes on stair stepper
15 minutes on exercise bike
3 miles ran
50 situps
50 push ups
1 60-second front plank
1 40-second plank
pray daily
read the bible daily
read my devotion daily

Remaining:
45 minutes on elliptical
45 minutes on stair stepper
45 minutes on exercise bike
12 miles walked/ran
15 miles biked
250 sit ups
250 push ups
4 60-second front planks
4 40-second side plankspray daily
read the bible daily
read my devotion daily
fast
date with Anna

Living Life

I know.  If you look below, I have a serious miss in my goals: running and biking.  I'm not big on excuses, so here's my explanation: I still need to buy a bike pump so I won't be riding on an improperly inflated tire; and I'm still waiting for that dang huge blister on my foot to heal.  Soon, though, I'll be back to full speed.  In fact, tomorrow, I'll be going on a run with a buddy of mine--and I'm really looking forward to it!

So no, no exercise today, but I had a fun full day with Anna.

Saturday:
prayed
read the bible
read my devotion

Total:
60 minutes on elliptical
60 minutes on stair stepper
60 minutes on exercise bike
1 weight session
4 miles walked/ran
pray daily
read the bible daily
read my devotion daily
date with Anna
fasted

Remaining:
11 miles walked/ran
15 miles biked

Muscles

Today was my company's picnic.  We had a hot dog cart, a hamburger cart, and an ice cream cart.  I did have a small buger, 2 Veggie Apple Sage Sausages, and 2 ice creams.  BUT.  I did budget the picnic into my eating:  I had a smaller "lunch" and counted the food at the picnic as my dinner.  So there should be no worries about me letting myself go.

And I got a chance to hang out with some friends tonight--a couple of guys from my small group--and we worked out on a weight machine.  Yeah, yeah, I know that free weights are preferrable.  But, I'd say that a weight machine is still better than nothing, right?!  Plus it was fun!

And while it is highly doubtfult that I'll be hitting all my goals, I am very happy with my week so far. 

Friday:
1 weight session
prayed
read the bible
read my devotion

Total:
60 minutes on elliptical
60 minutes on stair stepper
60 minutes on exercise bike
1 weight session
4 miles walked/ran
pray daily
read the bible daily
read my devotion daily
date with Anna
fasted

Remaining:
11 miles walked/ran
15 miles biked
pray daily
read the bible daily
read my devotion daily

Week 72 (3.10)

Weight: 224.8

Weekly Weight loss: 4.6
Total weight lost: 143.6
Average Weekly Loss: 1.99

Yup!  I've knocked a good portion off of my "gain" from last week.  Of course, if it all didn't go away by now, that tells me some portion of it was, indeed, a real gain.  Now, this weigh-in was this morning--before my fasting day and my monster workout.  So, realistically, if this were Friday (or Sunday), I may be posting a much bigger loss.  But that's fine.  This is about where I am next mnonth...next year...next decade...it's not about where I am this week.  Does that make sense?  It's all about the long haul.  Plus, I don't use my fasting days for weight-loss, so I'm also glad that the die rolled a 4 this morning.

I'm also looking forward to where I'll be next week.  And I've got to get that average back up into the 2's.   

Wednesday:
30 minutes on elliptical
15 minutes on stair stepper
10 minutes on exercise bike
prayed
read the bible
read my devotion
fasted

Total:
60 minutes on elliptical
60 minutes on stair stepper
60 minutes on exercise bike
4 miles walked/ran
pray daily
read the bible daily
read my devotion daily
date with Anna
fasted

Remaining:
11 miles walked/ran
15 miles biked
pray daily
read the bible daily
read my devotion daily

Let's Be Honest

As I mentioned yesterday, one of the guys that went on the bachelor party in Vegas trip had previously lost 70 pounds.  He has since gained most of it back.  And, honestly, I can see why.  The weekend for him was fillied with alcohol, soda, food, and cigarettes.  Now yes, it was Vegas.  And yes, it was a bachelor party.  But no, I didn't indulge in those choices.  So, I know it can be done.

But now here's the honesty part: I'm afraid.

I'm afraid that I might evenntually gain it back.  I've never been "thin" or even "normal".  I've never lost more than 30 pounds.  I've never done this before. 

So there's a large part of me that is afraid that this success (and whatever more progress I make) will be erased by unhealthy living in the future.  I may be afraid, but I think it's a healthy fear.  I think this feeling of trepidation about my health and my weight and my future makes me more attentive to that possibility and pitfalls.  I feel like I'm on this journey with my eyes wide open.  I know that I can't predict the future.  I know that I may change.  But more than that, I know that I don't want to change back into that 368 pound man I was.  And I know that God doesn't want me to fall back into that unhealthy way of living.  And I know that Anna will do her best to support me and encourage me to keep this up.

It's a journey that I'm we're on.  I may not have a map, but I do have a good guide and great traveling partners.  Thanks for the company!

Wednesday:
15 minutes on elliptical
15 minutes on stair stepper
10 minutes on exercise bike
prayed
read the bible
read my devotion
date with Anna

Total:
30 minutes on elliptical
45 minutes on stair stepper
50 minutes on exercise bike
4 miles walked/ran
pray daily
read the bible daily
read my devotion daily
date with Anna

Remaining:
30 minutes on elliptical
15 minutes on stair stepper
10 minutes on exercise bike
11 miles walked/ran
15 miles biked
pray daily
read the bible daily
read my devotion daily
fast

What is Impressive?

No, this won't be a long post, but I really wanted to talk for a moment about losing weight.  Yeah, that's surprising, huh?  Talking about losing weight on a blog that has weight loss as a main element...

Well, there's another moment that happened over the weekend that I wanted to talk about.  One of my brother's friends was talking to me about my weight loss.  He said, "That's amazing.  140 pounds lost?  That's way better than the 70 pounds I lost...before I gained most of it back."

I don't want to talk about the fact that he gained most of it back--that's a conversation for another day...maybe tomorrow.

No, I want to talk about the fact that he was so impressed with my loss (so far) and not with the fact that he had lost 70 pounds.  It seems like there is some evil (yes, it truly is evil) heirarchy in the weight-loss arena.  And it's in the blogs and it's in the world.  It's almost as if people feel like they haven't accomplished much unless they've hit x pounds lost.  Or that if others have lost more weight our weight loss isn't as impressive.  And I have succomed to that thinking, too.  I think most of us have.

But that's a damned lie.

Any amount of weight loss is impressive. 

Heck, just starting a weight loss journey is impressive.  I don't care if you've lost 5 pounds or 500.  It's an amazing thing.  You know?  And even if you're working on weight loss and haven't been able to get too far--but you're still working out and still working on it--that's incredible.  It really gets to me when people diminish others' accomplishments.  But it frustrates me even more when people diminish their own accomplishments.  If you trust in yourself and value your own accomplishements, then no matter what anyone else says, you know you've done something great--others can't take that away from you.  Ever.

So if there's anything I can wish for you, it's that you'd be proud of how far you've come--and excited about where you're going.

Tuesday:
18 minutes on stair stepper
25 minutes on exercise bike
4 miles ran
prayed
read the bible
read my devotion

Total:
15 minutes on elliptical
30 minutes on stair stepper
40 minutes on exercise bike
4 miles walked/ran
pray daily
read the bible daily
read my devotion daily

Remaining:
45 minutes on elliptical
30 minutes on stair stepper
30 minutes on exercise bike
11 miles walked/ran
15 miles biked
pray daily
read the bible daily
read my devotion daily
fast
date with Anna

My Vegas Trip- What I can Share

This weekend was a really good time.  But let's be honest, I'm not going to tell all about it.  I mean, it was a bachelor party, you know?

I did, though, complete a run.  And that was a ton of fun.  Well, maybe not a ton of fun, but a very fulfilling accomplishment!  I ran.  In 105 degree weather.  Whew.  I started the run, and there were no sidewalks.  No worries, I just ran on the shoulder.  Along Las Vegas Boulevard (way south of The Strip), which is a 50 mph zone.  But it was fine.

I started my run and thought that the M Resort was maybe a mile and a half or 2 miles away.  So if I ran there and back, I was expecting 3-4 miles.  And in the heat, I thought that would definitely sap out a lot of my energy. As I was running, I did have my energy sapped out--as expected.  What wasn't expected was that each way was over 3 miles!  Yikes.  I wasn't even 2/3 of the way to my goal and I looked at my mileage: 2miles.  Holy Moses, this wasn't going to be a short little jaunt.  Ugh.  So I got to the M, and turned around.  And Ran (and walked) back.  I got back and I had gone 6.29 miles in 1:11:14.  I ran a 10k in 105 degree heat.  Yikes.  Whoo hoo!

Here's a picture I took from the M, looking back at the condo we were staying at:

How about you? 

How was your weeekend? 

Try anything new?

Up to Monday:
15 minutes on elliptical
12 minutes on stair stepper
15 minutes on exercise bike
pray daily
read the bible daily
read my devotion daily

Remaining:
45 minutes on elliptical
48 minutes on stair stepper
45 minutes on exercise bike
15 miles walked/ran
15 miles biked
pray daily
read the bible daily
read my devotion daily
fast
date with Anna

Week 71 (2.10)

Weight: 229.4

Weekly Weight gain: 8.2
Total weight lost: 139
Average Weekly Loss: 1.96

Yup.  I gained.  I gained a lot.  In about 12 days.  Now, really, I think that some portion is from my Vegas trip.  And actually, while I ate pretty dang well, it was all restaraunt food, which tends to be over-salted. 

Add to that the fact that in the 46 hours we were in Vegas, we only slept 5.  And we all know that a proper amout of sleep is essential to good weight loss.

And add to that the fact that I had to weigh myself right after I got home from a plane flight.

Yes, those were factors.  But I know I could have done a better job pushing myself.  And while the cartilege strain put a cramp in my goals, again, I know I could have done more.

And this week, I will.

Goals:
60 minutes on elliptical
60 minutes on stair stepper
60 minutes on exercise bike
15 miles walked/ran
15 miles biked
pray daily
read the bible daily
read my devotion daily
fast
date with Anna

The Night Before

So, tonight is the night before I leave to Las Vegas for the weekend for my brother's bachelor party. We don't have a ton planned, but 8 or so 30-somethings should be able to have a bunch of fun. I'll be taking part in almost everything--other than the strip club (yee-uck).

I have three goals for this trip:
1. Have a good time and make sure my brother does, too
2. Get some dedicated exercise in (at least the rest of my walking/running in)
3. Don't go crazy with the eating--but do have fun.

Thoughts? How do you not gain while visiting Sin City??

Thursday:
15 minutes on stair stepper
30 minutes on exercise bike
prayed
read the bible
read my devotion

Total:
60 minutes on elliptical
45 minutes on stair stepper
60 minutes on exercise bike
50 situps
50 pushups
2 60 second front planks
2 40 second side planks (each side)
6 miles ran
4 miles biked 
prayed
read the bible
read my devotion
fast
date with Anna

Remaining:
300 situps
300 push ups
8 60 second front planks
8 40 second side planks (each side)
9 miles walked/ran
11 miles biked
pray daily
read the bible daily
read my devotion daily

When it rains...

Yup.  It pours.  I got my workout in today at work--and it was great!

Then, I went out to dinner with Anna.  We went to a new little buger joint in Renton.  Burger Town was great.  Not high class.  Not super creative.  But really tasty.  It totally hit the spot.  A good burger.

When I got home, I mowed the lawn and then jumped on my bike to get a good ride in (I was planning on somehting like 9 miles).  About 2 miles in, I noticed that my tires were a little low.  So I decided to turn back--I didn't want to blow a tire or anything.  So, once I got back to my house, I put the bike back and started to run.  But after about a tenth of a mile, I stopped.  Yesterday, on my run, I got a HUGE blister on my foot.  I was hoping that with a bandage on it, I'd be able to run.  I was wrong.  

So, yeah, I didn't get a great run in, but that's fine.  I still have lots of time to do that.  Again, no use sacrificing the future for today, right? 

Wednesday:
15 minutes on elliptical
15 minutes on stair stepper
15 minutes on exercise bike
4 miles biked
prayed
read the bible
read my devotion
date with Anna

Total:
60 minutes on elliptical
30 minutes on stair stepper
30 minutes on exercise bike
50 situps
50 pushups
2 60 second front planks
2 40 second side planks (each side)
6 miles ran
4 miles biked 
prayed
read the bible
read my devotion
fast
date with Anna

Remaining:
15 minutes on stair stepper
30 minutes on exercise bike
300 situps
300 push ups
8 60 second front planks
8 40 second side planks (each side)
9 miles walked/ran
11 miles biked
pray daily
read the bible daily
read my devotion daily

Broken

Maybe not broken. 

More like "dented".  Last Wednesday, at our work event, they had a mechanical bull.  Yeah, of course I rode it.  I was hoping to have pictures, but none have been distributed yet.  And while it was a bunch of fun, during my bull riding time, in an effort not to fall off, it looks like I tweaked something.  I wanted to just ride it out (the pain), but it got pretty bad today.  So, after a quick consult with my doctor, I guess I have a deep strain in the cartilage of my ribs.  This is causing me quite a bit of pain, and corresponding muscle spasms.  

Ugh.

So, on doctors orders, there will be no more push ups, sir ups, or planks.  And I'm starting to think that those are what did me in yesterday.  And now I'm on Ibprofen for the next week and have muscle relaxants at the ready--though I'd rather not use them.

She did, however, say that I could still run and bike and do most everythign else so long as it doesn't aggrivate my injury.  She told me that it would help for me to get to some strong breathing--the perfect byproduct of working out--and that the breathing would help ensure that I don't get a collapsed lung.  Wha?!  I don't think she meant that that was a likelihood...maybe more of a possibility.  But yeesh!  And, seriously guys, I feel like I'll be fine.

So, although I was in a great deal of pain this evening, I was able to get a good 6 mile run (in under 60 minutes).  I didn't want to, but there was no way I was going to slide back, you know?

Now I'm back on the saddle, but luckily the saddle isn't on the horse! 

Tuesday:
30 minutes on elliptical
5 minutes on stair stepper
6 miles walked/ran
prayed
read the bible
read my devotion

Total:
45 minutes on elliptical
15 minutes on stair stepper
15 minutes on exercise bike
50 situps
50 pushups
2 60 second front planks
2 40 second side planks (each side)
6 miles ran
prayed
read the bible
read my devotion
fast

Remaining:
15 minutes on elliptical
30 minutes on stair stepper
45 minutes on exercise bike
300 situps
300 push ups
8 60 second front planks
8 40 second side planks (each side)
9 miles walked/ran
15 miles biked
pray daily
read the bible daily
read my devotion daily
date with Anna

Back to LIfe, Back to Goals

I've found that I've been missing all of my stats.  I've been trying to make this blog more fun to read.  But honestly?  This blog is a place for me. And I know I'll be most successful when I'm doing what works for me.  You won't find me going on the Atkins Diet...or the Paleo Diet...or another diet.  Because I don't think those would work for me--though they work for so many other people.  So, if you wouldn't see those things, why should you be spared the statistical leanings of me?

And I'm sure that you all agree that this space is more fun when I'm doing what helps me and what feels right.  So, the stats are back.  Lots of text.  Lots of lists.  But it's worked for me in the past, so I'll keep it!

So, what works for you?  How do you stay on track?

Goals:
60 minutes on elliptical
45 minutes on stair stepper
60 minutes on exercise bike
350 situps
350 push ups
10 60 second front planks
10 40 second side planks (each side)
15 miles walked/ran
15 miles biked
pray daily
read the bible daily
read my devotion daily
fast
date with Anna

Up through Monday:
15 minutes on elliptical
10 minutes on stair stepper
15 minutes on exercise bike
50 situps
50 pushups
2 60 second front planks
2 40 second side planks (each side)
prayed
read the bible
read my devotion
fast

Remaining:
45 minutes on elliptical
35 minutes on stair stepper
45 minutes on exercise bike
300 situps
300 push ups
8 60 second front planks
8 40 second side planks (each side)
15 miles walked/ran
15 miles biked
pray daily
read the bible daily
read my devotion daily
date with Anna

Fly By

Yes, it's that time of year again, here in the Northwest.  Time for Seafair and the Blue Angles!

But no, that's not what we'll be doing.  In fact, we'll be having our annual family and friends weekend.  And it almost always ends up being the same weekend as the Blue Angels.  It'll be about 16 hours a day of hanging out with relaitives and friends, playing games, and eating food.  But I'll do my best not to indulge.  It's hard.  Because I usually do so much inattentive eating.  So I'll have to come in with a plan.  Maybe I take pictures of everything I eat?  Or just a list.  Not sure if I'll even post pictures or a list.

But I will deffinitely be more mindful this weekend.  Hope you do the same.

The End

Today, I witnessed a tragedy. I saw a man take his own life. No, I'm not talking about seeing a man in a restaurant, obese, and eating more than a day's worth of Calories. No, I'm not talking about seeing a man in a car smoking cigarettes and risking lung cancer (among many possible diseases).

No, today, I saw a man commit suicide. I saw a man plunge from a 4th story patio like a rag doll and never breathe a breath again. I don't know the details of why this troubled man took his life. I don't know his story. His pain. His helplessness.

What I do know, though, is the pain that remains. The ripple effects of his decision. I know of the 150 people I work with who will not soon forget the emotional swing our semi-annual sales meeting took when this poor soul decided to make such a heartbreaking irreversible decision. Did this man leave behind children, a wife, family? Again, I'm not sure, but I know that we all come from somewhere--we all have mothers and fathers. And there is always pain when a loss like this occurs.

Now, coming from my own experience, I feel the need to say that I haven't had a close friend commit suicide. I haven't had an immediate family member end a life. And while a child of one of our neighbors did when I was younger, suicide has never really affected me.

Not someone's suicide, at least.

But, being that I struggled with depression for a good portion of my adolescence (or at least a long long bout of angst), suicide was on my mind as an option more than once. There were times when I longed for the pain of obesity or the pain of not fitting in to go away--and the only option felt like suicide. Those were some dark days. The poetry I wrote during that time was not good (both in terms of quality and subject):

Look at Me
I look around and see
Everyone stares at me

I may look weird
But on the inside, I am
The same

Mirrors deceive me
Pictures lie
The way I am
Is truly inside

Tears come out of these eyes too
They run down my cheek
I can feel them
Can you?

Yeah, dark stuff, huh? But you know? I never gave in to that temptation. I never "took the easy way out". And I'm glad I didn't because very little in life is permanent. I wasn't alone forever (thanks to a gracious God and a wonderful wife). I wasn't obese forever (thanks to a gracious God). And my depression has been in remission for quite some time. And if I would have been the one to throw myself off the building (or however I thought about ending my life—I was a little too creative during that time…), I would have missed out on all of that. I would have tried to write my story for God. And that’s not ever a good idea.

And then, while writing this, I had my Zune playing, and this song by Avalon came on. How fitting is the chorus?

Beyond the Clouds (by Avalon)
Beyond the clouds
The sun is shining
Beyond the storm
The sky is blue
Beyond the rain
Hope is waiting
I'll be there for you
I'll be there for you

God will be there for us. He will be our strength and our power and our courage. But we have to let him.

My prayer:
Lord, please be with this man’s family who will never see his smile or feel his love again. Please be with the emergency personnel who did not have the full chance to save him. Please be with the hotel staff who have to continue to work in a place of such tragedy. Please be with all of my coworkers who may or may not have seen the graphic event but were terribly affected by it. Lord, I know that You love us and that You want what is best for us. I know that all things work out to Your goodness. But please let me and others be the tool that you use to do Your will. Be our hands and feet. Our mouths and ears. Our shoulders and arms. Thy will be done.

Week 70 (1.10)

Weight: 221.2

Weekly Weight loss: 1.0
Total weight lost: 147.2
Average Weekly Loss: 2.10

Yup, that's right!  I rolled a 2 today.  Really?  I didn't roll yesterday, so this was the first chance to see this new plan in action, and I guess I get to put this into action today.  So here's my first weigh-ini of this new 10-week program.  We'll see how it goes.

Pretty well so far, though.

Tuesday:

4.5 miles ran (in 35:23)

50 situps
50 push ups
prayed
read the bible
read my devotion

Total:

9 miles ran

100 situps
100 push ups
prayed
read the bible
read my devotion
date wwith Anna

Die

–noun
small cube of plastic, ivory, bone, or wood, marked on each side with one to six spots, usually used in pairs in games of chance or in gambling.

That's right.  I'm talking about dice.  Or, rather, a die.  This will dictate a lot in the next (at least) 10 weeks of my journey.  Please just bear with me as I explain my thinking and why I have such a random "tool".

In the bible, a lot is made of not knowing when things will happen.

"For you do not know when the time will come. 34It is like a man going on a journey, when he leaves home and puts his servants in charge, each with his work, and commands the doorkeeper to stay awake. 35Therefore stay awake—for you do not know when the master of the house will come, in the evening, or at midnight, or when the rooster crows, or in the morning— 36lest he come suddenly and find you asleep." Mark 13:33-36 (ESV)

"43But know this, that if the master of the house had known in what part of the night the thief was coming, he would have stayed awake and would not have let his house be broken into. 44Therefore you also must be ready, for the Son of Man is coming at an hour you do not expect." Matthew 24:43-44

And I think I have found a way that this concept of being prepared relates to my weight-loss. 

Here's how my week normally goes:
Sunday: weigh-in; eat more than ususal, not much exercise
Monday: workout, but not as hard as I am proud of, and watch what I eat but not as much as I am proud of.
Tuesday: a lot like Monday.  Maybe a little better.
Wednesday: think to myself that I should kick it into gear, but don't really.
Thursday: pick up the intensity.
Friday: start to freak out that my weigh-in is coming up and try to have a "last chance workout"
Saturday: limit my water intake in some stupid attempt to make sure that my weigh-in is good.
Sunday: repeat

And let's be honest. I don't think that's a way to live a healthy lifestyle. I mean, I do a pretty good job limiting my portions, getting some activity in, and drinking water--most of the time.  But my schedule is all based on the knowledge that my weigh-in is on Sundays. I think, if I take those verses to heart and implement them, that I need to live in a way that I'm always "prepared" to weigh-in.

So, my new plan? For the next 10 weeks, I'll live by the die. So, on Monday morning, I'll roll the die. If it shows a 1, I weigh-in on Monday. If it shows any other number, I wait until the next day. On Tuesday morning, I'll roll the die. If it shows a 2, I weigh-in on Tuesday. And so on through Saturday. Then, if I don't weigh-in based off the roll of the die, I'll weigh-in on Sunday. What do you think of my plan? Is it overly-complicated? Is it relying too much on chance? I'm not sure. But I think I really like the idea.

Up to Monday:

4.5 miles ran (in 35:03!!)

50 situps
50 push ups
prayed
read the bible
read my devotion

Week 69

Weight: 222.2

Weekly Weight gain: 2.6
Total weight lost: 146.2
Average Weekly Loss: 2.12

Yup.  A gain.  Funny, though, I'm not upset at all.  Why is that?

Really, it's because I'm learning how to eat intuitively.  I'm learning to identify my hunger and my habits.  I was talking to Anna about this tonight.  It's interesting because my relationship with food has gone through 4 stages:

1980 - April 2009:
Attitude toward food: Eating whatever I want whenever I want--and however much I want.
Result: 368.4 pound weight

April 2009 - November (?) 2009:
Attitude toward food: Focusing on healthy foods, and trying to limit portions
Result: 100 pounds lost

November (?) 2009 - July 20, 2010:
Attitude toward food: Counting Calories--making healthy choices
Result: 45 pounds lost

July 20, 2010 - ??:
Attitude toward food: Eating healthy; chosing foods consciously
Result: 2.6 pounds gained

Of course, you've got to give it more time to see if this will work.  But really, it will have to work, you know?  I'm excited to see how I will respond with this.  In the past, I ate mildly healthy, but my portions were too big.  Now, I'm eating healthy, and my portions are smaller--though still too big.  I am learning to live without counting Calories--and find that it's easy to fall back into old habits of eating too much.  It's almost like when the parents leave and the kids go nuts and have a huge party.  I guess I just had my party.  And now it's time to clean up.  But I'll have to move out of my parents house of Calorie counting and learn to live on my own eventually--might as well start now.