Yes, I admit it. I have another love. I've been unfaithful. Not unfaithful to Anna--that would never happen. No, I've been unfaithful to God--trying to find fulfillment in the arms of food. And it's so tough. It's not like I can just leave food forever (since it's so hard for me to resist the temptation). It's not like alcohol that I can just avoid. No, it's like air--I kinda need it to survive. I've been trying to think of a good metaphor for the challenge. Maybe, the closest thing I could come up with is this:
Let's say that I'm an actor in a long-running TV Show. This show is very successful and provides a good income for my family. My wife is not in the entertainment business, and we're madly in love. My TV wife, however, is my ex-girlfriend (from before my actual wife and I met). My old relationship was very passionate, very intense, but I am grateful it is over. There's still some attraction there, but I know how toxic the time we shared was. That being said, I have to kiss my TV Wife on the show--often. That's the trouble: how do I kiss my TV wife on the show, making it look real, but not feeling any of those unhealthy feelings and saving my heart for my true love.
Is that even close?
Unfortunately, last night my evil affair with food popped up again. This week and last week have been pretty tough with regards to food--and last night was a perfect example. I got home from Spotlight Night and wrote my post. Then, for no real reason, I ate a whole wheat english muffin with melted cheddar and some shredded beef. It was probably 350 Calories that I didn't need, wasn't hungry for, and regretted. Really, what was I looking for? Comfort. But that comfort shouldn't come from food. It should come from Jesus. He's the one who will fill my every need--not some food (no matter if it's whole wheat or not...). So what did I do? I fasted again today. Not to punish myself, but to reinforce the need to remember that food is not my souce. God is.
Thursday:
pray daily
read the bible daily
read my devotion daily
date with Anna
fast
Total:
40 minutes on elliptical
30 minutes on stair stepper
60 minutes on exercise bike
4.5 miles walked/ran
200 sit ups
200 push ups
6 60-second front planks
6 60-second side planks
pray daily
read the bible daily
read my devotion daily
2 days fasting
3 dates with Anna
Remaining:
40 minutes on elliptical
30 minutes on stair stepper
1 Olympic Duathlon Test
5.5 miles walked/ran
100 sit ups
100 push ups
9 60-second front planks
9 60-second side planks
pray daily
read the bible daily
read my devotion daily
Calories:
Okay, major fail in this department. Maybe next week?