Let's Be Honest

As I mentioned yesterday, one of the guys that went on the bachelor party in Vegas trip had previously lost 70 pounds.  He has since gained most of it back.  And, honestly, I can see why.  The weekend for him was fillied with alcohol, soda, food, and cigarettes.  Now yes, it was Vegas.  And yes, it was a bachelor party.  But no, I didn't indulge in those choices.  So, I know it can be done.

But now here's the honesty part: I'm afraid.

I'm afraid that I might evenntually gain it back.  I've never been "thin" or even "normal".  I've never lost more than 30 pounds.  I've never done this before. 

So there's a large part of me that is afraid that this success (and whatever more progress I make) will be erased by unhealthy living in the future.  I may be afraid, but I think it's a healthy fear.  I think this feeling of trepidation about my health and my weight and my future makes me more attentive to that possibility and pitfalls.  I feel like I'm on this journey with my eyes wide open.  I know that I can't predict the future.  I know that I may change.  But more than that, I know that I don't want to change back into that 368 pound man I was.  And I know that God doesn't want me to fall back into that unhealthy way of living.  And I know that Anna will do her best to support me and encourage me to keep this up.

It's a journey that I'm we're on.  I may not have a map, but I do have a good guide and great traveling partners.  Thanks for the company!

Wednesday:
15 minutes on elliptical
15 minutes on stair stepper
10 minutes on exercise bike
prayed
read the bible
read my devotion
date with Anna

Total:
30 minutes on elliptical
45 minutes on stair stepper
50 minutes on exercise bike
4 miles walked/ran
pray daily
read the bible daily
read my devotion daily
date with Anna

Remaining:
30 minutes on elliptical
15 minutes on stair stepper
10 minutes on exercise bike
11 miles walked/ran
15 miles biked
pray daily
read the bible daily
read my devotion daily
fast