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Why I've Decided to Bother

To be honest, I haven't had the best track record with any of my commitments (besides being committed to Anna, my beautiful wife). I've started dieting more often that I can remember, just to give up after a few short weeks--or even days! I've tried reading the bible countless times, just to get bogged down--treating it like it's some kind of duty or penance or rite of passage. I've even tried to blog (briefly once...). I joined MySpace in college, just to see myself stop using it after a few months, and I'm even unwilling to join Facebook because I already know that I'll not follow through with updating it.

It's actually at the point where my family and I joke about my having an "80% clause." In everything I do, I get all excited about some project. I start really strong, but find myself getting bored with the minutiae. Now, I'm not so sure that a lot of people don't struggle with this phenomenon, but I think I have it down to an art.

So, if I'm trying to do all of these things in my life that I have avoided for so long: losing weight, reading the bible, and getting my anger in check, why do I think I'll be able to succeed now? Well, it's been an insightful week.

On why I want to lose weight:
There were two events that made me determined to finally lose the extra hundred or so pounds that I've been carrying. First, I read something in the book O2: Breathing New Life into Faith. In the book, Richard Dahlstrom says:

"Jesus is interested, as well, in the salvation of our bodies. We rush to interpret this as having to do with miraculous healing, and while there's certainly a place for this, we need to see that the kingdom ethic calls us to stewardship of our bodies...How are we related to food? Is it a gift to be enjoyed, or has it gained mastery over us somehow?" (pg. 71)

While I may have heard about the need to practice stewardship of everything that God gives us, and realized that included our bodies, I always told myself that I was in control. How wrong I was.

In addition to the stewardship aspect of weight loss, I ran into this blog yesterday. Here is a man who decided that enough was enough. That getting winded walking out to the mailbox wasn't worth it. That having to shop at Big & Tall sections wasn't worth it. That the possibility of missing out on important life moments--and yes, even life--wasn't worth it. And he's already lost almost 55lbs in 10 weeks. I congratulate him, and would love to follow suit.

On why to pursue my relationship with my heavenly Father:
One blog that I follow a lot is written by the pastor of a church my wife and I used to go to: Bethany Community Church (my wife and I currently have found a home at Emmaus Road Church). Richard Dahlstrom is one of the most intelligent, balanced, Spirit-filled people I have ever come in contact with. He understands what it means to live in healthy Cristian tension. He posted an entry about Sanctification this week that really got me thinking about to what extent I'm letting God be in control of my life.

On why to fulfill my obligation as husband and friend:
The way I treat my friends, strangers, and worst, my wife is quite embarrassing. For someone who has been shown so much grace by God, I seem to have very little for others. This short-temper (or whatever term you'd like to use for wrath) toward others really undercuts the testimony of my salvation. More than that, it erects walls--even little by little--between me and others. Even my wife. That's totally unacceptable, and I know that, but I don't like living that way. That would mean that I would have to give up my own wants and desires. That I would have to think of others first. That I would have to see that everyone has unsurpassable worth because Jesus paid an unsurpassable price to save them. I've been too selfish to submit to God's will. But no longer.

Today, April 4th. And it is a new day. (I don't care if that phrase it trite.)

So, here are my promises to you, those who I've invited to this blog and those who have stumbled upon it (welcome!):

  1. I will post my weight every Saturday morning (to be done when I wake up)--and maybe videos or pictures as on demonstrated on 344pounds.com
  2. I will post weekly about the chapters of the bible I have read (and maybe some commentary as well--depending on how ambitious I am)
  3. I will declare any failings I have had with my wrath (in general terms) and repent to God and those I have harmed.

And I'd love for you all to hold me accountable.

BJ
Numbers 6:24-26

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